so. much. to. do.

the wednesday before thanksgiving. this day, for the past three years, was a day strictly reserved for my mom. I would always take the day off work and drive down in the morning. we'd go to the late morning church service and then go to Dolce Vita for lunch. and then we'd go home and spend the entire afternoon getting ready for the next day. apple pies. the pumpkin pie from the recipe that she insisted on using, even though every year it turned out terrible. mini chocolate chip muffins. boiling giblits. mmm. giblits. chopping the celery and onion so it was ready for the next day. preparing one of her infamous jello concoctions. making the cranberries. polishing the silver. setting the china out a day early so that we knew the table was ready. all while listening to Christmas music. it was a time that we both enjoyed, even though we were getting so much work done.

two weeks ago, I was dreading this day. had a panic attack about it thinking about having to do this stuff alone. I talked to sunshine and she told me that she was already planning on taking the day off, so she is my new pie baking buddy. and the really funny thing is that she has a lot of the same OCD tendencies as my mom.

I woke up this morning and there is a gorgeous blue sky. and i'm excited. to do these things again. to see my family. yes, I just said that. to see my family! I do love them. so, so much. my brother pulled me out of the deepest darkness i've been in the other night by telling me that he knew it was going to be hard, especially for me, because these were our times. mine and my mom's, to do things together, but that he wanted to make it as easy on me as possible and asked what he could do. and somehow at that moment I knew that everything would be ok. and that we'd get through it. that they'd help me. that sunshine would help me. that my friends would help me. I am so thankful to have such a great family and friends.

now if you'll excuse me, I have some pies to go bake. and you know what? I am SOOOO not using that crappy pumpkin pie recipe. and my mom is just going to have to deal with it. :)